Friday, August 09, 2013

Under The Work Spell

Under the work-spell, we do a lot of things to "add value" and "get the job done".


The sales pitch goes: "We are the world's foremost specialists in spelling! Our special spellings will help others pronounce your word! Let us help you come up with the spelling for your word that you now pronounce as 'kyoo'".

Step 1: q (pronounced kyoo)..."Elegant and unique, q also has the k sound, what's more also has the pronounced as kyoo. Nifty, eh? But, there's more work to do."
Step 2: q-u (unpronounceable)..."Uh-oh! Are we really as good as we had claimed? But we have to add it...because of the mandatory u-after-q regulation..."
Step 3: q-u-e (pronounced kwe)..."Whew! That's better, at least it looks like a word now."
Step 4: q-u-e-u (pronounced kwe-oo?)..."Adding u is always a mistake. Lesson learnt."
Step 5: q-u-e-u-e (let's agree to prononounce it as "kyoo"!)..."Applying a lesson learnt, adding e after we mess up by adding u makes things better."

The spelling is now just great, don't you think?...(Let's ship this, before the customer realises what we are really doing!)

Q-U-E-U-E!...(Q(unique)-u(rules)-eue(beautiful pattern, don't you think, ue-ue) : Launch presentation)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Two Otocorrect Jocks

Malayalees have an inclination for the round "O" sound when we talk.
For example, we tend to pronounce the word "Auto" as "Oto".
Being self-conscious and also self-effacing by nature, we make a genuine effort to oto-correct when we find we made a mistake, and pretend it never happened...often with hilarious consequences...

Here are two illustrations from real life (courtesy Jeswin & Abid)

1. --- JOBY --
Joby was a Malayalee who migrated to the US. People made so much fun of his pronunciation that the poor chap even changed the way he pronounced his name! Earlier, he was Joe-bee, now he was Job-bee!
Once, when Joby had come to Bangalore, we went out for lunch at a restaturant.
After taking the order, the waiter asked, "What would you like to drink, sir?"
"I'll have a Cock please. Thank you!"

2. --- VIVEK ---
Vivek (English was not his strong suit) was out on a trek with friends when he spotted a scarecrow in one of the fields
"Hey, look guys! A scapegoat!!!"
Everybody started laughing.
Vivek quickly oto-corrected himself,
"Oh, sorry! I meant scape-got."

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Film Festival Diary - IFFK 2010

Think I'm retiring from this year's edition.

20101215 Optical Illusions
Was supposed to be "a delightful comedy" according to the blurbs. Delivered in parts. Interestingly characters albeit without depth - a blind man who regains his sight and along with it pessimism, an employee being trained for unemployment...Lots of humor understated

20101215 Zephyr
Nobody reminded me..what I'd noted day before yesterday! Made-up Symbolism and Songs with Meaning tire and stress me out now. Cow lost (calf without mother), mother of protagonist comes home. Later mother leaves, cow returns. Not all without substance though.

20101215 Certified Copy
If you have a good enough copy one won't miss the original. Movie illustrates the point beautifully, starting with discussions about Art - paintings and their copies. Then the lead characters (a writer and a fan) role-play as husband-wife. The lines are quickly blurred. Intriguing.

Decided to go for 3 today!

20101214 The Light Thief
Movie about an adorable inventor in the middle of nowhere. Slow-moving but poignant.

Decided to take it slow. Going for only one movie today

20101213 Lola
Remind me to never watch movies about bringing up a kid alone, woman director. No substance, some good music.

Announcement in hall: "I kindly request you to switch off your mobile phones."

20101213 Silent Souls
Depressing Russian movie about belonging and death. Merjan rituals and vodka-washes...Perhaps a dream the director or the author dreamt, should have stayed a private fantasy... Must say the movie was made with genuine feeling though

20101213 The Grandmaster
Japanese movie (1960s) captivates whether you know anything about the game of Shogi or not. Powerful acting by daughter of the Grandmaster in the scene about the Silver-Bullet move stands out as a highlight.

20101212 Of Love And Other Demons
Boring boring. A prototype of the pretentious art-movie stereotype. Provided me with a most refreshing power-nap. Rabies, a priest's love affair with a teenager...shot mostly in darkness and dungeons...made me long for the lights to come on. Shots of faces half in darkness, half in light seem to be the director's favorite trick to provide symbolism...slipping into the dark side...

20101212 Apart Together
A nice Chinese movie about a man returning to his lover after 50 years and planning to take her back from her husband. The husband agrees! Enjoyed a song that reminded me of the drinking songs of Malluland.

20101211 The Daughter-In-Law
Nice to be touched by genius every once in a while, Silent movie from Kyrgyzstan with no dialogue. Powerful storyline. Symbolic interludes with shots of animals are a little bit cheesy but acceptable.

I'm delegate number 13309.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Card Hacking With The Aashaan

On a lazy Saturday morning, nothing better to do - decide to analyze cards along with Nithin "Gokul" Rajagopal aka Cindy aka Aashaan, who has an insanely good visual memory...

Each face card (JKQ) is different!
Only card with a raised weapon - King Of Hearts
Only king without a moustache - King Hearts - He also has 4 hands in views. Hands up?
Only people with curls inwards - King Of Hearts and King Of Diamonds
Jack Spades is the only guys with multiple curls
Only cards showing the side-view - Jack Of Spades, Jack Of Hearts & King Of Diamonds
They don't care? Looking away from Sign - Jack Of Clubs, King Of Spades, Queen Of Spades, Jack Of Spades
King Of Clubs and the Queen Of Hearts don't have their sign on their attire! All the rest do!
(C)20100918 Aashaan

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Who You Are Versus What You Are

Of late, I have been analyzing various social interactions and personal conflicts from the angle of Who-You-Are versus What-You-Are and I've found that it explains a lot of things: from extravagant weekend shopping sprees to Daddy-wasn't-there situations to I-won't-talk-to-you-anymore personal crises...

Who You Are: There are things you do because of your intrinsic nature. You are who you are. That's the kind of person I am!

What You Are: There are things you do or want to do because of things you have no control over. Victims of circumstance is what you are. I do what I have to do!


Army officers: Attention!
People who spent most of their lives working in the army come to expect similar levels of discipline and no-questions-asked obedience in their personal lives as well. They expect you to listen to what they have to say (Attention!) and this is what often leads to coffee-table monologues!

Beggars: What kind of cheapo are you?
A beggar pleads with you for money persistently. Finally, you are touched and finally give him small change. Then It has happened to me!

Beggar: Please...Please...Please... (What You Are: Beggars beg)
You: No...No...No... (What You Are: Refuse requests for money from strangers.)
Then you finally give in...give him small
You: Here take this. Hope this change helps. (Who You Are: Human being with empathy)
Beggar: What? 50 paise!!! (Who You Are: I gave up my dignity for this!!??)

There is an Ego associated with both these components of our personality and this leads to conflicts and problems. Our irritation with people we interact with usually expresses itself with the protests: Who does he think he is? What does he think I am?

It is easier for the What-You-Are component to override and control the Who-You-Are component. I guess how comfortable you are with the sudden switch-overs will determine how happy you are...