Tyranny Of Time

Today my watch died on me; I am choosing not to replace the batteries. As a token rebellion.

The watch was my sign of bondage, a badge of my slavery - the time on my watch controlled me, decided what I did. My watch was my Little Lamb - I used to wear it everywhere and all the time...yeah, when I slept, even when I took a bath! Yeah, you could say that it possessed me more than I possessed it.

Only a few hours into my rebellion now, I am realizing that time as shown by my watch was not, and need not have been, my religion. What you read off your watch is just a token of time; WatchTime is just a convention.

Time is the ultimate luxury. Some months ago, I had read about the world's most expensive watch. Made by Swiss watchmaker Romain Jerome, this watch actually doesn't tell you the time of day; it only tells you whether it is day or not! Fashion-statement or not, it is definitely one helluva statement to make!

Before I sign off, small cryptic confession to make: I'm on Mobile-Time now. :) Well, that is, I peek at my cellphone to get my dose of the reality low.

- Thomas Jay Cubb

ThoughtJots: Time and money are the dimensions of the social universe. You spend time, you spend money (Time-Money equivalence). Some time ago, some time back (Dimension). Money gives you power, power gives you the ability to control other people's time.

Lightning Strikes Thrice

Believe it or not, there are witnesses, but on March 15, 2009, within the space of 2 hours I was -
1) Sneezed on by an elephant
2) Peed on by a monkey
3) Pooped on by a bird (sorry, don't know which kind :))

I was out in Coorg for a nature-trip...guess Nature didn't exactly reciprocate my love that day!
Only now do I realize the sheer impossibility of those events happening all together!

Hell, I didn't even know that elephants sneezed! (They do it with their trunk, in case you didn't know either)

The English Way

Or, The Idiosyncratic Ruminations Of An Indian On An UK Peregrination
Statutory Warning: High levels of exaggeration ahead!

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way."
- Pink Floyd, Time.

Based on experiences during my recent sojourn there, colored with quipamenducious™ opinion; your views may vary.

1) Queues, queues everywhere!
If there are none, they will create one! Everywhere you go, whatever you want, you have to stand in a queue. Even when there is no one else, you have to create a queue (of 1!) and stay behind a line and step forward to the counter only when called.

To avoid queues for entry is a big privilege, that people willingly pay for, shelling out much bigger amounts of cash! I decided to skip a lot of sight-seeing just because of the long queues and I didn't know there was another way...

2) Thank You for the Sorry. Not just formalities.
Even when you accidentally step on people and it's all your fault, they will apologize. (Tested :)
And you are expected to say thank you for everything, every small favor received no matter how seemingly trivial or even if it is just their duty. I was considered rude and frowned upon on many occasions! :(

3) Rules rule!
Everything should be defined and people get confused easily if they are not. Follow the intercom and the sign-board to the letter. There are people who don't care as well, and they are considered to be radical, don't-care types !?! Also, people generally play it safe and don't always really know what the exact consequences are.

Maqtub. Ashte! It is written, and that's all; those are the rules and hence it is fair . Whoever wrote them must have thought it out is the general assumption. If you think you know better...

4) Fine, pay the fine!
There is a price you pay for violating rules and that is, well, well-defined. It is also collected with regularity, rigor, vigor and fervor. There is no shame associated with paying a fine.

5) Freedom for cash
If you are willing to sacrifice the flexibility of your travel plans, that is, essentially your freedom to decide when you will do something. People are used to planning well ahead, months in advance.

Of course, I paid heavily for my stubborn insistence on flexibility for my travel plains! :) I should have been more flexibly stubborn perhaps; all my tickets came with a freedom surcharge!

6) Public transport..Service?
Public transport is damn expensive. And from what I saw there seemed to be an perverse, inverse relationship between the cost, distance and number of people using that mode of transport, for longer distances. I was amazed that for the same distance the listing, in increasing order of cost, was as: car, bus (coach), plane, train!

7) Value For Money
Amazingly, the minimum bus-ticket costs more than a loaf of bread. Food for thought. :)
Depending on what you are willing to sacrifice, you can get the exact same things at different prices...

To misquote Pink Floyd's Time (again! that song is really really English), "The sum is the same in a relative way, but you're poorer!"

MMA2 Song

Song written about work, Hindi verse.
Sung to the tune of "Socha Hai" from Rock On

==================
M M A 2 (Hindi)
Dhamas Jekab
=================

(26) Yes Franck!

Rambouillet se aati callein
Franck farmaaye Haan kar daalein
Khoon paseena sahi.
Leavon ki hai bas to khwabein
Lambi hoti jaati raatein
Build hota kyon nahin

Museebaton se ham na darein
Kaarnamon se timesheet bharein
Baat banta hain yoon
Apne apne modules liye
Namumkin ko mumkin kiye
Sun hi lo kuch stereo

M M A 2 . . . Project ka naam hai
M M A 2 . . . Haan tujhe kaam hai
M M A 2 . . . Kiya nahin to karo abhi

Janvari ya farvari
Behte hai sab delivry
Khoon paseena nahin.
USB se gaane sun lo
MP3 ya WAV bhi chun lo
Bajta hai sab audio

M M A 2 . . . Conti ka jaan hai
M M A 2 . . . Mistral ka shaan hai
M M A 2 . . . Suna nahin to suno abhi

Sannata sunayi nahin deta
Aur kharabi dikhayi nahi deta
Neeche hai sab kabhi
M C I P Queue!

(bridge)

Rambouillet se aati callein
Franck farmaaye Haan kar daalein
Khoon paseena nahin.
USB se gaane sun lo
MP3 ya WAV bhi chun lo
Bajta hai sab audio

Museebaton se ham na darein
Kaarnamon se timesheet bharein
Baat banta hain yoon.
Aansoon hai behlana kyon
Euro behte aatein to
Sun hi lo kuch stereo

M M A 2 . . . Conti ka jaan hai
M M A 2 . . . Mistral ka shaan hai
M M A 2 . . . Suna nahin to suno abhi

(x 2)

================================================

Apostrophe Catastrophe

Came across this post in Blogosphere about apostrophe abuse. Ended up writing a ditty there.. but could not edit it there... could not editee/a written ditty.

The abuse of the apostrophe is on my list of pet peeves as well. (The under-use of the hyphen is a close second)

------------------------------------------------
APOSTROPHE CATASTROPHE
Or, The abuse of apostrophe's,
Or, Its not right,
Or, Soon it will find it's grave!
------------------------------------------------

Loud and strong
Proud and long
Grammarians complain
But it's all in vain
It'll happen now, and again
Then it'll be the common strain!
Sound and fury down the drain
Might as well say "Amen"!

- Thomas Jay Cubb

Current Jokes

While in school, we were taught that the waveform for AC is a sine curve.
The representation of the signal was like: ^u^u^u^u or /\/\/\/\/\/\/\ with a line passing through it: you know what I mean.

This realization led to the postulation of the following explanations/justifications.

1. Why don't birds on wires get electrocuted?
Because they might be perched on a section of the wire through which the wave-form doesn't pass.

2. Why we need not pay for electricity.
Because the current comes to our home and then goes right back to the power-station.

Yup, these are PJs.

3. How could power-cuts possibly help to save energy?
The power was generated by water falling on the turbines. The power was being generated anyway (other localities would have power), the water was falling. It could not go back up, so weren't we actually wasting that water!

ACD List

Discovered an online database service called Zoho Creator. It's pretty cool and easy to use!

Catalogued all my audio CDs

What's Cooking

Background Updates
---------------------------
It's been a long time since I put up anything other than movie reviews here. It's not that I've been too busy to write, I have been writing and also updating my other blogs (programming and quizzing) regularly...er... well...frequently. I am writing to write here; expect no structure! This is a brain dump.

Life has been chugging on, and I think I have been having fun. Been quizzing a lot (no successes worth writing home about though), learnt some Kannada, got a promotion at work, playing lots of table-tennis, traveled around Karnataka a bit - trekking and stuff... all regular stuff... fun, dull but also enjoyable fun.

Have also been reading quite a bit (Kafka On The Shore, Crime And Punishment etc.) and buying lotsa CDs (burnt my fingers AND ears quite a bit) apart from watching a lot of movies. Yeah, and did I mention my Krishna conscious phase - not the ISKCON variety but the "truly conscious" kind ?

(originally as part of separate post)

TBOWM - 200707

"We are in The Business Of Watching Movies." - Shimjith Ambali

20070715 Ordinary People
Superb. Oscar-winning (Best Picture, Best Direction) effort from Robert Redford. The movie is about a young boy who has difficulties overcoming the loss of his brother in a boating accident. A familiar theme but explored to great depth are the boy's relationships with his father, mother and his shrink.

20070714 Heaven Can Wait
A delightful comedy from Warren Beatty who gets a second chance at life after being wrongly killed. Beatty who is a footballer chooses to go back in the body of a millionaire. Though it is a familiar theme, some memorable scenes such as when the millionaire's wife is caught cheating redhanded. By a strange coincidence, my second movie for the day also had two

20070714 Bee Season
Though the bee in the title alludes to the spelling-bee competition, this Richard Gere starrer is more about the things people do to connect with God. Control-freak and deeply religious Gere's family's attempts to interpret and apply the Kabbalistic concept of "tikkun olam" or "repairing the world, reuniting its shards." The movie has not one but two directors - both engaging in tikkun olam themselves! Attempts to alleviate the gloom and repetitiveness with psychedelic renderings of words spelling themselves out!

20070711 The Birdcage
Robin Williams runs a gay/crossdresser nightclub (The Bird Cage) and his son falls in love with the daughter of a senator. Scenes of slapstick comedy unfold as the household attempts to cover up their true selves when the Senator comes visiting to inspect the suitability of his daughter's suitor!

20070710 Honeymoon In Vegas
Nicolas Cage falls for the crafts of a wily gambler and ends up losing his fiancee to his conqueror for the weekend. But is he gonna be losing her forever as well? Can the seemingly omnipotent millionaire trick the maiden out of Cage's hands?

20070709 Cool Hand Luke
Paul Newman plays the unflappable Luke, indefatigable and irrepressible in his quest for freedom and to be himself. in this prison flick. Memorable scenes include the egg-eating challenge, the explanation of the rules of the prison and Luke's escape'ades. Also features the famous(for me) quote "What we've got here is failure to communicate" in the song Civil War by Guns'n'Roses.

20070708 Tootsie
Watchable cross-dressing comedy. Dustin Hoffman is an out of work actor who finally lands a role when he cross-dresses and auditions for a role in a sitcom. Tootsie becomes a rage and Hoffman struggles to maintain his regular life. A useful side-effect is that he gets closer to one of her/his costars, but complications arise when the costar's father proposes to Tootsie!

20070707 The Bridges Of Madison County
Clint Eastwood, an ageing Nat Geo photographer, and Meryl Streep, a bored housewife have a brief affair while Streep's family was away for the weekend and Eastwood shows up to shoot photos of the Bridges of Madison County. The story is told as Streep's grown-up children shamefully reading about their now-dead mother's romantic liaison with the ace photographer.

20070707 Catch 22
An adaptation of Joseph Heller's classic is pretty much different from the book. Perhaps director Mike Nichols' intention was just to capture the horrors of war, the essence of the book, rather than reproduce it scene-by-scene. All in all, I felt it was darker and was less funny than it should have been. Does not do justice to the book.

20070707 Intersection
Richard Gere faces a midlife crisis, he is at the intersection or the crossroads of life. Does he stick with his wife or go with his newfound lover. The movie takes us along with Gere on a drive through the countryside and tells us the story through a series of flashbacks and incidents that help him make up his mind. Surprise, surprise it was somewhat artsy too.

20070618 Walk The Line
Johnny Cash biopic, Joaqim Phoenix puts in a decent performance as the country crooner. Primarily about Cash's involvement with his co-writer and other family problems (dad, wife).

20070618 Mayavi
Mammootty plays an ex-con who has the power/secret ability to bash up the bad guys, but only while it's dark and he is out of sight! Plot follows familiar lines, village-girl charmed, buddies turn foe - but definitely worth a watch.

20070618 Big B
Slick action flick from Mammootty. A Malayalam movie in true (well, almost) Hollywood style! The story is not much to write home about and there are no "unexpected" twists in the tale. Good, refreshing style though!

20070617 The Quick And The Dead
Sharon Stone and Russell Crowe sizzle in this Western-style, multi-starrer revenge-flick. Gene Hackman is the sherriff holding a shootout challenge to eliminate all possible challengers to his office. A young Leonardo DiCaprio too features among others. Expected a tedium of shootouts but different threads are woven in rather well.

20070617 Chota Mumbai
Mohanlal stars in this laugh-a-minute, feel-good movie. Was a pleasant surprise as I had gone to watch the movie expecting a blood-and-gore, goonda movie.

20070616 The Parallax View
A dark and paranoid thriller about the assassinations and conspiracy theories surrounding them, in the 1970s. It's a satire - there being a Parallax Corporation which is in the business of assassinating senators. A bit ahead of its time, the style followed by director Alan Pakula requires intense concentration to follow. Warren Beatty is the confused hero. I felt the footage in the Parallax test, the psychiatric test the recruit assassins have to take could have been more significant and poignant.

20070616 Boys Don't Cry
The true story of Brandon Teena (Teena Brandon), a transsexual in love with a girl. However things turn awry when her friends discover the truth, that Brandon is not who he claims to be. Hilary Swank plays the boy-girl to perfection.

20070616 The Sting
Paul Newman and Robert Redford play con-men planning to pull off the biggest job of their careers. A bit predictable but interestingly laid out as chapters! Robert Redford reckoned this was his best role ever, I read somewhere. Couldn't help but wonder how much the younger Redford resembles Brad Pitt (should be the other way around!). I think Viggo Mortensen resembles Michael Douglas too.

20070615 Blood Diamond
A pseudo "true-story" style movie, with more than its fair share of propaganda and gossip! The sheer amount of coincidences involving Solomon Vandi take the sheen out of it. Superb performances from the lead trio (DiCaprio, Connelly and Djimon Hounsou) however keeps the movie afloat, as do the fantastic scenery. The movie could have done with either a disclaimer or a true story notice - to lend it a bit of authenticity!

20070615 The Out Of Towners
Enjoyable comedy about how things go wrong for Jack Lemmon and wife when they make a trip to NY. There's non-landing flights, missed baggage, mugging, kidnapping and much more! Everything goes wrong! Was later remade, starring Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn.

20070611 Any Given Sunday
Al Pacino plays the coach of a "loser" football team in this Oliver Stone film. Cameron Diaz features as the new owner of the team and Jamie Foxx plays the star quarterback. The confrontational scenes between coach and don't-wannabe-protege are, well, tiredly inspirational!

20070611 Marathon Man
What would you do when your whole world turns upside down and the people who you thought you knew aren't who you thought they were? Dustin Hoffman, as a cute wannabe-Marathoner student, faces up to the tough guys. The "Is it safe?" torture scene is memorable. The athlete shown in the recurring clip is Abebe Bikila.

20070607 Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: At World's End
I thought this was a bit too long and detail-ridden. And everybody comes back from the dead! Dozed off towards the end, which my friends told was the best part of the movie. Anyways, I thought it was better than the second part.

20070605 American Gigolo
Richard Gere plays the titular role, a gigolo framed in a murder-case. Pretty decent stuff.

20070601 The Milagro Beanfield War
Surreal film from Robert Redford which tells the story of a town which is facing a water-crisis because of a big real-estate project. The hero decides to face up to the biggies and rebels by taking water for cultivating his beanfield. Becomes the talk of the town - featuring popular, legal and even divine interventions. Charming at times, overdone at others.

TBOWM 200705

"We are in the business of watching movies." - Shimjith Ambali

20070514 Spiderman 3
Everybody needs help sometimes but Spiderman takes it a little too often in the movie versions, doesn't he? The third instalment failed to rise up to even the low expectations that I had. The tear-jerker scenes (and there are many of that!) left me in stitches. Mask-less Spidey (everybody knows by now!) gets rescued from a pounding from Venom and Sandman by his friend and/or enemy Harry. Utterly disappointing, but can't blame nobody because, in life, we always have a choice!

20070531 The Last King Of Scotland
Biopic about Idi Amin featuring Forest Whitaker in a laurel- and Oscar-winning performance. Whitaker steals all the thunder and the rest of the cast makes the most of what's left. An absolute must-watch.

20070530 Panic Room
Home Alone X and Blue Streak blended into a thriller! Artificial and manufactured story-line if ever there was one. There's a thief-proof panic-room in the house where there is a bounty which the thieves want. The break-in happens on the very day the new tenants move in, and they take haven from the robbers in the panic-room! The movie is rescued by performances from Jodie Foster who plays the distressed divorced mother with an ailing child and Forest Whitaker who plays a security-guy-turned-bad-but-all-the-same-there's-still-good-inside-me robber.

20070530 High Noon
A western that is not quite a western! There are not too many horses or gun-fights in this one. Rather, this is a rather instructive tale about how good, honest and sincere men are often left high and dry at the end by the very people they have served. Gary Cooper plays a retired(?) marshall who has to fend for himself when an outlaw whom he had put behind bars returns for revenge. The movie is shot in real-time, I think; it depicts what happens in the one-and-half hour or so after the marshall learns about the release of his nemesis. The frequent shots of the clock and the railway track build up tension and are standout features.

20070530 Babel
A four-stories-in-one and everything's-connected style artsy flick. Lives in Morocco, America, Mexico and Japan all connected through an incident that Brad Pit and wife, holidaying in Morocco, get embroiled in. The standout feature was the abundance of dialogue-less sequences, a very visual style of story-telling. The movie is more about the "connection" than anything else; the individual stories are not explained to their logical ends. Must say I enjoyed the movie as a whole.

20070526 Soft Beds, Hard Battles
Peter Sellers stars in multiple roles in this pathetic comedy... Did not, could not watch it through! Abandoned...

20070526 Charulata
Satyajit Ray movie about a "lonely wife" who falls in love with her husband's brother. Slightly abstruse and boring but entertaining nonetheless!

200070514 Keeping the Faith
Chocolatey comedy. A bit too mushy at times. Ben Stiller, Edward Norton and Jenna Elfman star. Love triangle involving a rabbi, a priest and their childhood buddy. Edward Norton's maiden directorial venture.

20070506 Bitter Moon
Sexually charged suspense film from Roman Polanski that is (emotionally) exhaustive and exhausting as well... you are guaranteed to be drained at the end of it all! The character played by Hugh Grant is drawn to the story of how a cripple (Peter Coyote) got together (in all senses of the word!) with his wife. Great stuff.

20070503 Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex
Well maybe not quite that, but a highly entertaining take from Woody Allen. A series of disconnected comedy episodes discussing sexual topics. The best sequences are the ones featuring Woody Allen as a sperm and the one in which a doctor falls in love with a sheep! A bit patchy, but thankfully, it is the mediocrity which surfaces in those patches and not the other way around!

20070501 The Man In The Iron Mask
A so-so adaptation of the Alexander Dumas novel that tells the tale, tells it quickly and entertains. Leonardo Di Caprio, John Malkovich et al star. Too little time spent on character-development, the plot stars; things happen a little too quickly.

20070501 Marvin's Room
A movie about the rediscovery of affection between estranged sisters (Diane Keaton & Meryl Streep). Keaton is the affectionate, self-effacing, all-sacrificing family-person who looks after sick dad while Streep is a fiercely independent, feminist (and selfish?) single mom with a delinquent son (played by Leonardo Di Caprio). Not bad for all the emotional baggage.

20070501 Hoffa
Jack Nicholson delivers a powerhouse performance in this biopic about James Hoffa of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, a trucker's union. Danny DeVito hogs screenspace as Nicholson's sidekick, but not the limelight. Standouts are the courtroom scenes and the number of cigarettes that DeVito smokes!

20070501 Oliver Twist
Roman Polanski's retelling of the Charles Dickens story is faithful and elaborate with respect to sets and all that, but fails to sustain the interest. Both Barney Clark (Oliver) and Ben Kingsley (Fagin) act out their parts in an exaggerated manner, I felt.

20070423 Wall Street
Must-watch! Michael Douglas puts in a sterling performance as the super-investor. The movie is worth watching for his"Greed" speech alone. Charlie and Martin Sheen play out father-son roles in this one. Occasional flashes of wisdom from father and occasional glimpses of Tom Cruise from son!


20070430 Casino Royale
Spoof spoof. This comedy-multistarrer boasts big names but not too many good laughs. David Niven is the retired original James Bond who unleashes a whole brigade of duplicates (agents named James Bond) to confuse the bad guys (gals).


20070428 Terms Of Endearment
A run-of-the-mill tear-jerker (a comedy as well, it tries to be everything!); Jack Nicholson rescues the movie from the doldrums with his playboy-retired-astronaut role. Synopsis: Control-freak mother vs Independent daughter, affairs, loneliness and cancer! A very, very over-rated movie. How could it possibly have won so many Oscars! In hindsight, the movie was, I thought, pretty much similar to the later movie "Something's Gotta Give". If you liked that, you'll probably like this as well.

20070428 Quiz Show
A real-life story which shows the cheating that was rampant in the quiz (and game) shows in the early days of television. Some moral dilemmas presented and explored in a fine manner; but I felt it could have been a little more intense. Ralph Fiennes stars as the oh-so-handsome "intellectual" Charles Van Doren in this Robert Redford-directed movie; John Turturro puts in an unforgettable performance as Herb Stempel while Rob Morrow plays the the role of the investigator Dick Goodwin to perfection. My litmus test for a biopic role is: can you remember the name of the character or not? Some splendid quotes and bits of trivia as well. Which face cards are drawn in profile? Which movie won the Academy Award for best picture in 1955?

20070424 Once Upon A Time In America
A slow-moving grand epic gangster tale. Clocks in at 3:43! Took me an entire day to watch. Robert De Niro puts in a brilliant performance; he plays the part of Noodles as a young man, an older man and a very old man. The story is presented as a set of disconnected flashbacks from an opium den. The childhood section is the most entertaining but maybe that was because the gangster parts have since been told and seen umpteen times before. The Sergio Leone and Enrico Morricone combo come good yet again, almost poetry.

20070430 Moulin Rouge
A refreshingly different musical. Wonder why I hadn't watched it all this while. Set in 19th century to the words of rock-numbers. It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside!

20070430 Manhattan Murder Mystery
Woody Allen near his best. A genuine comedy, not the ROTFL type, more of humour. Diane Keaton plays the role that was originally written for Mia Farrow.

20070430 Taking Lives
Angelina Jolie and Ethan Hawke star in a hackneyed, catch-the-psychopath flick. Watchable, but not too good. A bit gruesome at times. The director could have spared us a lot of the blood and gore!


20070331 Dude, Where's My Car?
Hilarious. Occasional lapses into toilet-humour; it's a little bit too gross at times but it will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Guaranteed. "We are hot chicks..." is a line that never fails to get a smile out of you.


20070301 Leaving Las Vegas
Mushy movie. Cage puts in a decent performance as an alcoholic.

20070226 Melinda &Melinda
A little bit too self-important, almost pseudo-art, and the comedy is a little bit artificial. Woody Allen is not in peak form here. But the movie is not boring by any means and is eminently watchable.

20070226 Capote
An entertaining biopic-style depiction of the writing of In Cold Blood. What took getting used to was the high pitched, funny voice of the lead actor. But then that was the way Capote used to talk, as the extra documentary on the DVD showed. Was mighty impressed then!

Apart, Not Separate

Half my team moved to a different floor today. Does distance make the heart grow fonder?

------------------------------------------------

APART, NOT SEPARATE

------------------------------------------------

Empty chairs and desks, now felt is pain
Now this floor is so much less fun;
You've gone, and left a void main,
But size and space spare none!

Young ones leave when they get older
But without you this place seems colder
(Fewer people for the AC,
Laws of physics, you see?) :-)

Now you have moved to floor three
A place more, where we can feel free!
That you have made the shift
Just means that we'll use more, the lift!

- Thomas

Proof By Quotation

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire

"Bullshit! Witty sayings are the very essence of wisdom, and I should know."
- Oscar Wilde

"People will take anything you say seriously if you put a famous name next to it."
- Albert Einstein

-From a discussion on Slashdot

quipamenducious

quipamenducious

Adjective: quipamenducious (koo`pa`men`doo`shus)

n. quipamenducity

1. Lacking breadth of view, tolerance or open-mindedness
2. Having a rigid and stubbornly fixed view of the world

2007, from Skt. koopamandooka “frog-in-the-well” from ancient Indian parable about a frog stuck in a well.

archaic: quipamenducacious

Bespectacled!

On January the 10th of the year of Our Lord 2007 , I got myself a pair of spectacles. Astigmatism, weird angles, don't know what exactly is wrong. Power of -0.25.

456 x 456

Yesterday a couple of my friends met for the first time at an eatery- Binu Ninan Kovoor and Emil Eapen Thomas. I thought it was an incredible, almost eerie coincidence - both of them have the same number of letters in their first names, middle names AND their surnames.

BINU NINAN KOVOOR
EMIL EAPEN THOMAS
(4) (5) (6)

I got scoffed at for making this reflexive observation. Both of them simultaneously (and independently and instantaneously) gave me the oh-yeah-so-what, something's-really-seriously-wrong-with-you look.

But I bet this happens only very rarely.

Chance Encounter With A Titan

Yesterday, I happened to be at Crossword bookstore Bangalore when the release of Sharmistha Mohanty's novel New Life took place. The author read out passages from her book: I was not too impressed with either her reading style (which I felt lacked passion) or the content (which was overly descriptive and sentimental). I gave it a few earfuls and decided to browse around for CDs in the store till the Q&A session because I had a few questions to ask. Why does Indian writing in English always have to be about the Western Experience and always by a person who had it? Where was the fiction? The novel, it appeared to me, was largely based directly on her student-life in Iowa.

The Titan

The ceremony also featured UR Ananthamurthy, who was introducing the author. The name was familiar but I could not place it at the time: for the moment he was just a rambling old man who was stealing much of the author's thunder from her. Later, just after the snacks, I asked my neighbour about Mr. URA and he waxed eloquent about URA: his being Kannada literature's titan, his many awards - a mini biography!

Q&A session

TJC: How much of the novel is autobiographical?
URA fielded my question with some philosophical ruminations, not entirely related to the point raised.
SM (taking the mike from URA): Why do you want to know? Why do you care?
(Audience laughs)
TJC: In a Malayalam movie called "Artham", the character played by Mammootty says that any person can write one story - that of his own life. I was wondering: will there be a second novel?
SM: I hope so...Let there be a second, a third and so on! But here's answering your question: even if it is based on one's own life, there can be more than one story. We are ever-changing and the persons that we are take different forms, shaped by the great forces of life.
TJC (impressed): Voyeurism has a certain appeal, you know. That's why I asked.

After the Q&A session, there was a small tea party. I approached URA and made idle conversation with him. We discussed some general points about Indian writing in English for a couple of minutes.

An Impulsive Joke
TJC: I cannot resist it, it just occurred to me, forgive me, but may I crack a joke at your expense?
URA: Go ahead.
TJC:
You were at a function where you had to register your name.
So you went to the person who was taking down the names and
said, "Please add my name too...UR Ananthamurthy".
The other guy asks, "Are you Ananthamurthy?"
You reply, "U R Ananthamurthy!"
To which he says, "No I am not!"

URA laughed, though I do not know whether it was at my joke or at my irreverence. I had to redeem myself. Could not allow the situation degrade into a case of maybe-I-should-have-said-it-too (l’esprit d’escalier, literally “staircase wit”)

TJC: If you would allow me to, I'd like to recite a short poem.
URA (unsure): Er....
TJC (pretentiously): It's short and humorous, and it's profound.
The poem's titled Disposable. The lizard uses its beloved tail/To tickle itself, to scratch its head, to many avail/But when in trouble, trapped by so much as a nail/ Coolly sheds without even a wail!
URA (nodding in appreciation): ...Very clever...I liked the rhyme..Has deep meaning too.
TJC: It's actually about the utilitarian world. Many a time when it's time to say thank you, people often say goodbye!

We talked for a couple of minutes more and I told him that I had to go.

20-Point Me

I have been tagged by Binu Ninan. Now I have to write 20 Random Things about myself. Well, here goes...

1* I am frank to a fault; I believe in telling the truth always because the truth will out sooner or later. I remember once I had been to a dinner and the host asked me whether I was bored and I replied, much to my parents' shock, that I was in face very bored!!! This has gotten me into trouble on many occasions and has also saved me trouble on a few. But a lot of people have told me that this is the one trait that they appreciate in me.

2* I like to lie when it is of no consequence. Meet me on a train or bus and I will assume a fictitious identity. It can be loads of fun, trying to keep up with your own lies! It's kind of hard, you should check it out. I term these endeavours "experiments in human behaviour" and these serve as a release for all the pent-up truth-pressure.

3* Most embarassing moment: When I was in the eighth standard, I hid under the desk before the English class started. I used to sit in the middle of the class. Halfway through the class, the teacher who had been sitting at his desk all the while, said "OK Thomas, now you can stand up." Everybody just stared at me and I did an ostrich- sitting down and pretending that nothing had happened.

4* I like making stupid jokes - punning. My mind (I consider it to be separate from "me") thinks literally, which a few people find impressive and many (more!) people find annoying, Literal thinking as opposed to lateral thinking but it's surprising how often the literal thinking leads to lateral.

5* Thing I find most annoying about me: I take the things I say, even the things I say in jest, too seriously somens and try to follow them. Though I crack a lot of jokes, I am really a very serious person.

6* Things I buy impulsively - books and music. I have burnt my fingers and my pockets many a time though, especially with music CDs. I believe naively that the possibility of discovering a gem outweighs the risk of the investment.

7* Pronounciation Blues. I remember that I was mighty impressed when I learnt that "rendezvous" was pronounced "rondevoo". Youth - I used to pronounce it as "yow-th" till I was 7. Whore (encountered often in Sidney Sheldon) is another word I used to mispronounce - woar.

8* First English sentence I said. I was 3 at the time. "It's Hot. Fan. Fan." My cousin Reeba keeps telling me (almost) each time we meet.

9* I wrote and directed a play for my school's Annual Day in 1998. The story was adapted (rip-off?) from the TV series "Small Wonder". I was criticized for this but I still maintain that the dialogue and the adaptation are what are most important. What was the ending of the last novel you read? I remember it featured a woman-lawyer who said "I am Mr. Lightfoot's woman-lawyer!" - the then-me's take on female chauvinism.

X* I don't drink and drive because I don't drive. A freakish bike accident nipped my driving career in the bud. I was never much of a driver in any case and I didn't much enjoy it, but my hand may be forced in the near future...so pedestrians better watch out!

Y* My current passions are watching the so-called 'art-house movies" and making cocktails. I am a big fan of Akira Kurosawa's movies. The best cocktails I make are Captain's Blood, Long Island Iced Tea and Brandy Alexander. It is absolutely essential to have a passion or two to make life somewhat meaningful.

Z* I tend to philosophize a lot. I am an inductive (from particular facts to a general conclusion)reasoner and often I frame wild theories. My thoughts fly off on tangents too. I guess this is why my writing is full of parentheses and why I can't drive for nuts! There I go again!

A* Life is a progression from one addiction to the next. These addictions make you "sin" or do things that you wouldn't have otherwise. My life==Coffy Bite--Pepsi--Chewing Gum--Beer--Cigarettes--Cocktails--- ?

B* Books are my WINE: I don't much fancy the alcoholic variety. Reading==Classics(Abridged)--Sheldon--Crichton--Grisham--SciFi---Heller---Classics(Unabridged)--Kafka--Award novels---Light fiction--?

C* WOMEN. Thus far, I have led a "Wine, Women And Song" lifestyle minus the women. I haven't had any romances or affairs yet. No one has ever fallen in love with me either...

D* SONG==Film songs--Carnatic Music--Country Music--Michael Jackson--Eagles--Iron Maiden---Black Sabbath--Heavy metal--Tom Petty--Country Music--?

E* I am a stickler for grammar and spelling. I hate it when people make mistakes in their writing and pretend that it was because "We haven't checked it. Why are you so pedantic?" or say "but this is also acceptable"
Pet Peeves (cause for irritation - I know): Perennial/Perpetual, Me/I, Its/It's, Missing '-'s
Pet Hounds (cause for confusion - I doubt): Did I use to do that?, India wins/India win THE MATCH

F* I love dogs. The day my dog Krypto died was the saddest day of my life. I have recently adopted (loosely) a stray; we call him "Gorby".

G* All-time Favourite lyric: "I know you won't let me down...because I'm already standing on the ground." from the Eagles' "Peaceful Easy Feeling." Favourite quote for the moment. "Drinking to get drunk is like having sex to get pregnant." from a site on cocktails.

H* Sports. Badminton. I used to play badminton right from my childhood. I have represented my college in University and District Badminton Association tournaments. I haven't won any tournaments but I have won a few matches at the district level. Cricket. I used to be a leg-spinner in my school days. This was before the Warne-Kumble-induced frenzy. My hero was Clarrie Grimmett and like him I used to bowl at one stump! But alas I could not bat or field. Chess. I used to live and breathe chess in my eleventh and twelfth. Only managed to get rid of the dangerous addiction: I even used to have dreams of queens and knights moving on unbounded chess boards. Haven't played chess professionally.

Sigh-O-Nara

I bid adieu to my first company Ushustech in June 2005. This was my farewell letter, in verse!
(The annotations were not there in the original)

SIGH-O-NARA
-------------------------

Two years ago
When I joined Ushus
I saw myself becoming
the US in UShUS.

Sayonara means goodbye in Japanese.
The company had a lot of Japanese customers.
Ushus, by the way, means morning.

But I saw that
the going was tough and
the tough were going!
I reassured myself that
They were just panickers!

When I joined, the company was having a rough time.
Panicker is also a common surname in Kerala, this led to some confusion! :-)

Might be a long way to the top
but with desire-fuel
lit by the fire in our bellies
We were the 'get-there-surely' s.

I kept my faith
in Ushus
Somehow I knew
that to the top,
Fate would push us
and not crush us.

My hopes were not belied
Business accelerated (!)
and the HP-era dawned.

The company was merged with Accel, another company which was owned by a Mr.Panicker. Prior to this, we had landed major deals with Hewlett-Packard and things were sunny again.

When the sun rises,
time for the twinkling stars
To take a break.

A little bit of self-congratulation! :-)

Now as I am leaving,
I see the U
in UshUs!
But if night should again fall
I'll be there
For U again!

- Thomas Jay Cubb
-------------------------------------------

Professor Bhatt

BHATT LIMERICK
-----------------------
There was an old man by the name of Bhatt
Who lectured whilst scratching his butt
His nails were long
So when he taught for long
He ended up with his butt cut.

- TJC 23 Sep,2003
----------------------------------------------------


PCP Bhatt was my professor in iiit-b (where I had a brief stint). He used to teach us Operating Systems and Foundations Of Computing. Professor Bhatt was an excellent teacher, with plenty of wit, but had a strange habit - his hand inevitably crept into his pants when writing on the whiteboard, when his back faced the class...in full view!This limerick was reportedly leaked to Professor Bhatt! I wonder what he thought.

I remember an interesting conversation that I had with him in class when he was explaining schedulers - the component of an OS that decides what should be done when. I detected a chicken-and-egg problem : who or what schedules the scheduler? I decided to be cryptic. The exchange, unforgettable for anyone who was present in that class, went verbatim-

TJC: Professor, but who cuts the barber's hair?
(pause of 5 seconds)
PCP: What if the barber is a Sardarji?

Night Flight

Went to Delhi for my cousin's wedding on September 22.

Very nearly a one-liner.
"This is the last and final call. I repeat, this is the last and final call. I repeat..."
- Airport Announcer
Oh, the hypocrisy!

Was Passenger no. 49. Thought it was the name of a Wesley Snipes movie - later, much later realised that its name was actually Passenger 57 - in which the plane gets hijacked or something. There is a John Travolta movie called Ladder 49. Didn't share the tidbit with any of my co-passengers. Spared the blushes.

Seats are very uncomfortable. No leg-space. Got reminded of chickens being taken for slaughter!! On the plus side, no need to wear a seatbelt; so tightly are we packed.

It was my first night flight/
And the moon was on my right/
Clouds right below/
Lit soft and mellow/

Featherbeds or sand dunes?
In the sky or in the desert?

Then in a flash, the sky burst into flame. Lightning flooded the sky. The lady in the window seat tries to impress with lofty philosophical meanderings - How insignificant man is! The power of nature! - with allusions to Katrina thrown in for good measure. I quickly ground her in the middle of her flight of fancy by gently reminding her that we, members of the human race, were in fact flying at that moment- against the will of nature, so who's more powerful.

Silence can be bought with a cheap line.